some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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