That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
