White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
