I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
