I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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