Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
