I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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