I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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