I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
