Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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