I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Still dying that you shit outside
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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