I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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