Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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