did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you didnt know i had herpes?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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