pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I need to calm my uterus...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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