I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
