I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
