I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
someone owes me an orgasm
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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