Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Randomize
