So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
