Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
