Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
