hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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