Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
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