I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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