At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I would fuck him just for his dog
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
