So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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