What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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