So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He has the fingertips of a God
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