I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
