that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
