there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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