I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
