I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize