I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
