So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
