32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
