We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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