I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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