You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
