remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
