if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
