What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize