i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
