My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
