But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
