so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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