we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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