Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
