Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
