he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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