She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
