Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
