i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she looked like the before picture.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
