How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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