omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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