So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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