those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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