I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
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Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
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So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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